should I see my toxic familyQuestion: I’ve been dealing with toxic family members and drama and have gotten to the point where I am about fed up.

This makes me hesitant to attend my cousins wedding in a few weeks. (I’m not that close with this particular cousin.)

Should I skip it as planned or should I suck it up and go?

Thanks! Dan


Dear Dan,

When it comes to making decisions like attending a wedding or other family events; your feelings or energy systems can help guide you in knowing the right choices for yourself.

What I mean by this is, if your invited to a wedding party and you don’t want to go and the thought of going makes you feel nothing or low and draggy than in all likelihood, you don’t need to go and this is an indication that sucking it up and going anyways would not serve you.  

But… if you were offered that same invitation and you felt fear and excitement but still didn’t want to go for whatever reason – it’s too far away, you’d have to get a new outfit, you might face drama. Then, you should still honor the fact that your system is creating the response of anticipation and attend the event because anticipation of something indicates that it’s an opportunity to benefit your knowledge and advancement.

If your system is saying “no”, then that is a very different response than saying “I’m scared to go because… they may not want me there, there may be drama, I might have to talk to ___ etc. etc.”. When you have a “no” response or a low “draggy” response, it is different than if you are responding out of fear of something because fear is anticipatory. Meaning this event is an opportunity to move though fear.

In this situation, how you move though fear is by not expecting to experiencing the interference, drama and hurt by your family because those expectations align you to these experiences that are ultimately prompting you to make a change and do things differently in a higher vibratory way because this will serve your personal development.

With that being said, I would suggest that you attend the wedding but try not to focus on any negative expectations. I would also suggest that if your interactions with your family are not in alignment with what you’d prefer that you try not to react or react in ways that don’t hurt yourself or others and if that means distancing yourself physically or detaching yourself emotionally from things said or certain people, so be it.  

Love to you, Holly Joy