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Question: I’m falling in love with a longtime friend and I want to know if this relationship is moving toward a successful longterm romantic relationship. If So, what needs to happen now?

I view your long-time friendship as serving you in the past though the company and support offered. Although romance was not initially your intention; my impression is a long-term romance has always been the direction you’ve been heading, once the time for both of you was right to shift your feelings in ways that would expand upon your connection, serving you both with new experiences and feeling that provide company and support but in more intimate ways.  

The evolution of your relationship has been slow going and my feeling is progress in romance will be the same – a little shift here, a little growth there every few months or so. My feeling is this is intentional as it allows you time for personal reflection and comfortability before mutually uniting in ways that expand upon your relationship by creating space to be experienced differently than before.

In this sense, my feeling is your journey towards romantic direction is a mutual interest but still very new and with that I feel your both treading lightly on new territory because your confused, uncertain and lacking understanding in what the other wants – both here in the now and in the future. It’s like the shift of mutual attraction and interest has taken place but now your treading lightly, unsure of what to do next, if anything.   

In response to this my impression is your using this time to reflect on your past friendship and trying to apply those experiences towards how you progress and redefine your relationship now. There is nothing wrong with contemplating new gestures as this feels more comfortable to do at this point. Still, I don’t feel it is necessary to put in this extra time and effort that, if left un-checked could risk feelings of monotony.

My impression is that now is as good of time as any to put the past and associated logic to the side and release the hesitation holding you back from opening your hearts and minds to each other by doing and saying what you feel. I don’t feel you need to fear rejection or that you need do anything now but I do feel you could speed-up the progression of your romantic relationship by briefly stepping out of your comfort zone by putting yourself out there in ways that would fulfill your desires now. Once the hurdle of comfortability is faced you will feel more secure and closer, making the process of progress move more quickly and smoothly.

Love to you,  Holly Joy